Chris Brown is what happens when the mentality of a 5-year-old joins together with the body of an adult male. Breezy fucked up big time when he assaulted Rihanna, and his behavior over the last year is anything but remorseful or ashamed. Since he doesn't seem to comprehend how regret works, we have a short list of things NOT to do when you're trying to seem like a decent person:

1. Get in a nightclub brawl that injures innocent bystanders.

2. Tweet "HATE ALL U WANT BECUZ I GOT A GRAMMY. Now! That's the ultimate FUCK OFF."

3. Tell off a woman on Twitter by demanding that she take out her teeth while giving you head.

Unfortunately, we're sure Chris Brown will find new ways to help us develop that list in 2013.