The Best Lines From Hire Me Grantland's Epic Blog Travesty "A Match Made in Harlem"

A blog post that will live in infamy as a definitive document of Obtuse Millennial Gentrifiers.

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Complex Original

Image via Complex Original

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Earlier this week, The Internet discovered Hire Me Grantland, a website run by some young folk who would like to work for Bill Simmons. Unfortunately, the people to unearth HMGL did so because of a post entitled "A Match Made in Harlem: A White Girl Reports From NYC's Legendary Neighborhood." It's been making the rounds. Give it a read.

That thing your face is doing? Ours did that, too.

It's got some problems. 

Because of said problems, HMGL has taken it down—the link above is to a cached version—and apologized. The piece was "taken down for several reasons," explains Editor-in-Chief Matt Ford, but he doesn't list them all.

Perhaps the following context-free highlights from the White Girl Report will clear up any confusion about the reason(s) behind the blog post's disappearance:

- "If I feel safe in Harlem, what is the lingering stigma about Harlem that makes people scared for me? First, frankly, it’s because I’m not a big, black thug."

- "I’ve seen every ethnicity in my neighborhood: students, families, and everyone else."

- "My roommate is muscular and black, so when we walk down the street together, people assume we’re just another hip, racially mixed couple to not mess with (we’re not, he’s gay). I like to pretend we’re Lady Gaga and Usher taking a stroll, just living our lives."

- "Like my roommate and I, Harlem is eccentric. It’s an urban Norman Rockwell painting tucked away next to the Hudson River."

- "From a girlish perspective, my apartment features crown molding, exposed brick and a washer/dryer in my bathroom. From a real estate perspective, the pre-war architecture of my neighborhood is incredible, I don’t live in a shoebox and the rent is reasonable. And from a thug perspective, my address lends me a bit of street cred."

- "In some ways, moving to Harlem on a whim was like a drunken Vegas wedding everyone thought would get annulled. 'But I LOVE it,' I wailed to my parents. Almost three years later, Harlem and I are still going strong."

- "Yes, I’m a girl who stereotypically doesn’t fit the bill to live here, and I do love having girlish brunches downtown and am envious of people who live near Gramercy Park—but that doesn’t mean I can’t prevail in Harlem. Nah mean?"

Enjoy the rest of your day.

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