15 Reasons You Aren't Voting

Selfish indecision.

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Complex Original

Image via Complex Original

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It's election time again (who knew?), and for many that means another chance to feign political importance and proselytize shamelessly for some old guy who doesn't care about any of us. Don't all get excited at once.

From now through November 6, millions of wide-eyed, trusting Americans will flock to local polling places, brave mile-long lines and frustrating protocol to fulfill something their college professors once described as a "civic duty."

Even worse, though, is that fact that millions more will deliberately sit out the 2012 presidential election. Sure, the objectors' reasoning is usually valid (the system is broken, the candidates flawed, etc.), but the laughable state of American politics shouldn't excuse anyone from participating. At a time when politicians unapologetically refer to rape as "an act of god" and openly dismiss a large slice of the country as "victims," your decision to remain silent doesn't help anyone.

But you've made your decision, so probably you fall into one of these camps. Take solace in the fact that you aren't alone with 15 Reasons You Aren't Voting.

Diddy's "Vote or Die" campaign disappeared. What reason do you have to vote now?

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Ron Paul doesn't have a shot in hell. This devestates you. Also, you might be racist.

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Malcolm X said it's the "ballot or the bullet." You're choosing the bullet.

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Because apathy is cool.

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You're one of 5.85 million convicted felons who can't vote.

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Because your vote doesn't matter anyway, not really.

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You forgot to register.

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Voting is too expensive.

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Your preferred polling place disappeared.

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Democracy is too hard.

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The system is broken. By neglecting to vote, you're fixing it.

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You hate Mormons almost as much as you hate ethnic minorities.

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You just don't like either candidate.

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Because Lupe Fiasco said so.

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Friedrich Nietzsche isn't running this year.

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