It wasn't exactly the vagina monologues so much as it was a monologue about her vagina. On Monday night (Oct. 8), Olivia Wilde delivered a long aural screed at Joe's Pub in NY during These Girls, a monologue series put together by Glamour magazine.

It seems that despite the fact that she's in a relationship with Jason Sudeikis, the idea of monogamy and other assorted relationship quandaries don't really tickle her fancy. If she had her way, things would be much different. The world according to Wilde is called "Olivia Land," and here's how she described it:

"In Olivia Land, relationships can legally only last seven years, without an option to renew. That way it never goes stale. Can you imagine, if we only had seven years? We’d be so nice to each other, so kind, and appreciative and enthusiastic, like we were eating a really expensive bowl of pasta!

And in Olivia Land people wouldn’t cheat nearly as much because there wouldn’t be the threat of spending forever with one bedfellow. It just wouldn’t be legal.

There’s the issue of kids. Okay this is fun. In Olivia Land, all the kids go to boarding school at seven. It’s like in Harry Potter!

I would like to legalize prostitution. Hiring a sex worker in Olivia Land would be as easy, hygienic, and inexpensive as getting a pedicure. That way when away on business or just not in the mood, we could just hire a hooker for our loved one and keep them uninterested in cheating and keep them satisfied. These particular hookers would obviously have to be mute and possibly cross-eyed.

In Olivia Land, the streets are paved with dark chocolate, and all the people are free of body hair and menstrual cramps.”

Olivia Land. We want to go there!

[via Vulture]