Original Air Date: February 16, 2004
Director: Tom McLoughlin
Stars: Alexis Dziena, Marcia Gay Harden, Mike Erwin
Lesson Learned: That "cold sore" on your teen's lip...probably not a cold sore.

The title of this 2004 TV movie is naggingly cryptic. Given the vast number of Lifetime-y issues that've plagued various characters over the years, it feels like the sky is the limit here. She's Too Young...to become a mail-order bride? To develop a meth addiction? Nope, in this case it's syphilis. (SYPHILIS!!!)

Alexis Dziena—whom you might recognize as E's annoying rebound on Entourage—assumes the lead in this campy look at teen sex lives, starring as a 14-year-old girl whose friends pressure her to start showing her sleazy man (ahem) the love below. Like clockwork, one star after the other begins to get infected with syph, but that doesn't stop them from hitting up wild teen orgy parties. Per the site, "Parents and teenagers should watch this Lifetime Original Movie together." Because that won't be awkward.