If elves and fairies were Protestants and Catholics, Smurfs were the Mormons. They lived in a tight-knit and self-sufficient society, and cherished community bonding through occasional campfire sing-a-thons.

But unlike the believers, they weren't allowed to keep multiple wives and an entire population of blue phallus-wielding males (no relation to Dr. Manhattan) was stuck with three hoes (Smurfette, Sassette, and Granny Smurf) to pluck.

Forget the beef they had with Gargamel—imagine how many times they brawled to get some dome?