Dan’s Hamptons, the East End monthly devoted to polo matches, wine-swilling, and other well-monied happenings in the Hamptons, printed what may be the most amazing police blotter in existence. The blurb describes a resident known as Old Man McGumbus, a 106-year-old man whose exploits are often detailed in the paper, and his run in with an escaped Bengal tiger.

McGumbus managed to tame the tiger using only his belt, and then fell asleep with the wild beast on the side of the road. The Reddit masses claim McGumbus is a fictional character, while the author of the police blotter maintains, "There is an Old Man McGumbus."

We're naively hoping the latter is true, because, admit it, a Tai Chi practicing fogy who can also tame tigers would be our idol.

[via Uproxx]