When: 2006

Joe called it off ostensibly because of distance, but geography is nothing compared to the emotional distance Joe must have been feeling in his tender heart. "I'm always disappointed when I'm into a girl and she brushes off something that's really important to me," Joe told the press. "When I'm excited about something, I want to share it with the people I love, and if a girl isn't excited for me, or at least excited that it's making me happy, well, that's a sign that something is wrong." AJ, how could you?

Smash probability: He was an evangelically home-schooled 18-year-old, and she was a 16-year-old Christian rocker, and both were on the Disney payroll. You know that theory you have about how all these Disney teens are secretly debauched sex addicts? It is not going on in this case.