Why you think it'll work: The music moves you. The only time you feel free is when you're imitating the mechanical movements of a robot or spinning on your elbow to DJ Webstar.

Why it won't: Remember the dancing in TLC’s “Creep” video? That used to be cutting edge. Now, everyone’s a contortionist/gymnast with a Michael Jordan-like vertical. There’s a national shortage of kidney donors but with all talent searches and TV shows centered on discovering dance crews you’d think people were dying for lack of turfing.

The problem with being a dancer is even if you make it, you don’t really make it. It’s got to be the hardest, most competitive and, simultaneously, thankless job. Athletically, it’s incredible. We're not sure how much practice these crews are doing, but judging by these freaks on America's Got Talent, there's no way they have jobs. If you’re talented enough to share the stage with Rihanna or, god forbid, Flo-Rida, you’ll pull in about $400 a show.