Now that Fifty Shades of Grey has taken over modern pop culture as thoroughly as possible, it's moved on to the classics - The Guardian is reporting that e-publisher Clandestine Classics is set to release new versions of books like Pride and Prejudice, Jane Eyre, Sherlock Holmes: A Study in Scarlet, Northanger Abbey, and 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea complete with Christian Grey-inspired sex scenes written in.
"We'll show you the scenes that you always wanted to see but were never allowed," promises the publisher, probably in a super old-timey English accent, "The old fashioned pleasantries and timidity have all been stripped away, quite literally. You didn't really think that these much loved characters only held hands and pecked cheeks did you?"
Sorry, guys - there's nothing any of us can say to make this stop. Fifty Shades will take over the world, it is 2012 after all. All we can say is, as far as rewriting classic literature goes, nothing will ever top Pride and Prejudice and Zombies. Drop mic.
[via The Guardian]