At 33-years-old, Katie Holmes is youthful, even by Hollywood standards. Why then, is she holed up in her Chelsea apartment in New York City, rarely seen save for an occasional red carpet appearance or run to grab a pint of milk at Whole Foods? We get it, she's a mother, but it rings as strange that she's never had even a semblance of a social life. (Seriously, google "Katie Holmes partying." Nothing comes up.)
Now that Katie has been unshackled, we'd like to see her out with some women her own age, acting her own age. We're not saying go all Lindsay Lo-Ho circa 2007, but amidst claims she might actually be a robot, she needs to remind us she's actually lively and vivacious.
We understand. She married Tom at a very-ripe 27-years-old and lost some of the best years of her life. The GPS tracking device Tom implanted in her left butt cheek while she were sleeping that one night made it difficult to do anything but buy groceries and stare vacantly out her apartment window. Now, start making up for lost time!
Hire a babysitter for the night (with those hefty child support payments, we know she can afford it!) and have an "I'm free, bitches!" celebration with some fun-loving singletons like Mila Kunis or Cameron Diaz. Be photographed with a cocktail in hand. Maybe even look a little drunk. If she's anything but perfect and stifled she'll restore our faith in her essential humanity.