Address: 1500 Sansom St

Rumor is a neon labyrinth, a place where douche culture ascends to the status of myth. Sure, instead of minotaurs you get women wearing carefully-positioned fabric scraps who are paid to be there and convince you that you don't suck—Fun Fact: You do suck—but it is just as harrowing. And weirdly impressive. There are seven, maybe eight different rooms (hard to recall, what with the bleeding eyes and all), each with its own heinous colored fluorescent light scheme. Don't care to watch zesty grinding under sickly green light? How about orange? Red? The room everyone wants to party in is called “The Vault,” because it's shaped like a vault. Cool! Also, you get to pay $20 if you want to get in! Double cool! And what would be triple cool? Having the opportunity to seal "The Vault" like a time capsule, setting the to-open date to some time long after it would take for the folks inside to starve.