Date: 5/27/2012

Just as everyone on the East Coast sighed in relief that this zombie fiasco was happening down South, some dude from New Jersey ripped his own intestines out and threw them at police officers. The 43-year-old man from Hackensack called police, saying that he was going to hurt himself. When officers arrived, Wayne Carter was crouched in the corner of a room repeatedly stabbing himself while screaming at police. To fend off the help he called, he threw chunks of skin and intestines at the cops.