Whole Foods, the moralist's billion-dollar supermarket chain has just announced it will stop selling "red" seafood. No, this doesn't mean lobster and red fishes. "Red" is a label given to various sea creatures by the Monterey Bay Aquarium—pause for Monterey Bay Fish Grotto jokes—and the Blue Ocean Institute that are considered to be overfished (read: endangered), or fished in a way that harms marine life and/or ecosystems. So, starting on Earth Day (April 22nd), you will not longer be able to buy octopus, sturgeon, Atlantic halibut, or grey sole, to name a few.
We know, we know—no more octopus! It's a tragedy. We are no experts, but there is something suspect about all of this. Two possibilities: One, Whole Foods has teamed up with the powerful seafood lobby to alter supply and demand dynamics, putting a stranglehold on the fish market and forcing the American consumer to bow down at the feet of costly yet ethical/sustainable grocering. Or: Two, Whole Foods is unwittingly playing right into the marine world's hand and we will, in 400 years, pay the price as fish and ocean dwellers become self-aware and amphibious, storming Earth's beaches and enslaving all of humanity. Here's hoping its the latter!