Tabatha McGurr is a Brooklyn bred-writer currently residing in Bed-Stuy with her boo and dog Coco. She's been running to the Married To The Mob blog for the past six years. In her weekly column, she gives Complex readers insight into what today's young women really think about love, sex, and relationships.
So, you finally wifed up that hard-to-get dime all the homies were after. Congratulations. The only problem is, now that she’s yours, she’s turning out to be a lot more trouble than you bargained for. It’s a common faux-pas with dudes. You think you can take the baddest bitch on the market and tame her to your standards, but that’s not how it works with most in-demand females. Of course, not all girls are playing you, but when they are, you probably won't realize it until it’s too late and you already put all of your pride on the line. That’s why it’s crucial to look out for early signs that a girl isn’t wifey material. Most of it is pretty damn obvious, too. Wise up fellas...
SHE'S ALWAYS ON HER PHONE
I know that in this age of technology everyone is glued to their phone 24/7, but doing that shit excessively in the company of others is not only rude, but shows a serious lack of respect for the people you’re with, especially your significant other. It’s one thing to text friends and update your status on occasion, but engaging in multiple conversations and giggling away while your man’s right there is understandably frustrating. It doesn’t stop there, though. Some of these “wifeys” still hold onto their single status in the digital world, posting suggestive photos and sending sketchy DMs on the daily. Ultimately, it’s a matter of them needing constant attention from different people, and that’s not the type of broad who will keep it 100% with you.
SHE'S HEAVY IN THE CLUB SCENE
Many men get involved with girls who are really into partying but know how to calm down once they’re settled into a steady relationship. Then there are chicks who don’t give a fuck and go out every night regardless, and usually without the boyfriend in tow. Maybe you’re some super confident guy who trusts your girl no matter what, and that’s great, but you’ve gotta wake up and smell the Patron. Clubs and bars are meeting places for flirtation and hooking up, so if her nighttime excursions are a regular thing, then it might be cause for concern. That's not to say that it’s a crime to go out and have fun, but if she’s always choosing to go out in her skimpiest outfits rather than chill with you, something’s not working.
SHE'S MONEY HUNGRY
There’s no problem with being a hustler and chasing that paper, but a money hungry girl is no good in the wifey equation. A female can desire nice things and even request them of you if she feels like it, however, the moment she catches an attitude if you don’t get it for her is the moment you should check her ass. If she’s making you broke and busting your balls over cash in the early stages of the relationship, it’s bound to get worse later. The minute your bank account dries up, she’ll be onto the next one. Shit, chances are she might already have Sugar Daddies hooking her up that you don't even know about. Diamonds and furs don’t just appear out of thin air.
SHE NEVER HAS ANYTHING INTERESTING TO SAY
I know that some moronic guys out there don’t give a shit about a female's personality as long as she’s banging, but that type of arrangement only lasts for a few months before it gets tired. If she can’t talk with you about common bonds or challenge your mind, you will get bored. Even if the sex is off the hook, a couple without communication just isn’t built to last. Eventually, that lustful honeymoon period is over and all you’ll have left is a head full of thoughts and no one to talk to. It’s the same reason why those mail-order marriages never work out.
SHE ONLY CARES ABOUT HERSELF
If any or all of the above applies to your lady, homegirl only cares about herself. It’s not always their fault, but certain women just aren’t wired for monogamous relationships. For some, it’s daddy issues, for others it’s a matter of having been hurt in the past, and then some are simply free spirits, suffocated by the normalcy of standard relationships. Whatever the reason, there’s no sense in staying with a female if you can tell that she doesn’t give a fuck about you, unless you’re a masochist. Take the L and realize that there's no room for you in the picture.
With all that said, don’t be discouraged. There are still plenty of fantastic wifey-worthy beauties out there waiting to be picked up by the right dude. I mean, no girl is perfect, but we’re not all Internet-addicted, club-obsessed, money-hungry hoes. It’s up to you to sort through us wisely and be aware of the warning signs. If anything, stop being such a sucker for live. If a chick isn’t cut out to mother your kids someday, she can still be a really fun friend to keep stored in your address book.