A sentient, and extremely jealous, demonically red 1958 Ford Plymouth that murders anyone standing in the way of its love affair with its owners? Why not. What's harder to accept in John Carpenter’s iconic adaptation of Stephen King’s novel, is that Moochie, the chubby bully who Christine chases and corners in a loading dock as payback for threatening Arnie and vandalizing her, stands still as she slowly mashes her metal sides in to crush him.

For several minutes we’ve just seen that a fat guy can haul ass when properly motivated, and yet, presented the opportunity to simply jump up onto Christine’s hood as she inches forward and escape, his survival instinct completely abandons him? Forget that TV show—Moochie, you are officially the biggest loser.