22. “Machete don’t text.”
Courtesy of: Machete Cortez (Danny Trejo) in Machete (2010)
In the over-the-top exploitation tribute Machete, Danny Trejo doesn’t disappoint, handling his first-ever leading role with all the charisma, grittiness, and down-for-whatever spirit that’s made him one of the movie world’s coolest characters actors. Unexpectedly, though, the film’s most talked-about scene wasn’t one of its extremely gory moments, like when Machete uses a guy’s intestines as rope to dangle from one floor of a building to the level beneath it.
No, Machete’s standout sequence is all dialogue, when love interest Sartana Rivera (Jessica Alba) yells at him for not updating her on his whereabouts. “You could have at least texted me,” she says, to which Trejo responds, in a pitch-perfect, blunt manner, “Machete don’t text.” Heaven forbid she asked Machete why he didn’t direct message her on Twitter.