A Gentleman's Guide To Getting Drunk With Your Girl

Maintain your class and your buzz.

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Image via Complex Original
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Lead.

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Know your level (and hers too).

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Drunk lips sink ships.

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Don't flirt with the bartender.

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Consider catering to her needs.

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Stay away from tender topics.

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Don't get handsy over heinikens.

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Don't use booze as an excuse to push boundaries.

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Beware the Jameson junk.

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Don't use tequila as an excuse to throw down.

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Win Gentleman points with these parting tips:

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Parting advice

Mad Men's Don Draper may be a cad, but we have to give props where they're due—the man knows how to hold his liquor (at least in seasons 1, 2, and 3.) There is no reason a few drinks should harm your character, revealing you to be less of a gentleman than you actually are. Here are a few last pointers:


  • You can drink scotch all night long, but know it's not what is in your glass that makes you a gentleman. It's your ability to maintain your poise, regardless of how much you've imbibed.

  • If you get the chance, order her a drink based on a preference you observed earlier. She'll be impressed by your attention to detail.

  • Always offer her a chair/stool. If there isn't one, make it your job to find one.

  • Never drive her home if you've been drinking. Call her a cab, every time. She will respect you for making her safety your priority. (And think of your own safety.)

  • Decline any shots offered to you. Contrary to what you may believe, they do not make you a better conversationalist.

  • Always drink less than her. She should never have to help you across the street, or worse yet, hear you puking in her toilet.

  • If, for whatever reason, she becomes embarrassingly intoxicated, take care of her. Yes, this means holding her hair and making her drink her weight in water. It also means not mentioning it in the morning. (Unless the behavior is habitual—then she might have a serious problem.)

Gentleman, enjoy drinking with your ladies. Slip slower than usual. Use it as a unique opportunity to earn her respect and trust. Revel in thought of her telling her friends "He knows how to drink like a man" and know that yes, yes you do.

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