Final Level: Fighting Gozer
Why It Sucked: "CONGLATURATION ! ! ! YOU HAVE COMPLETED A GREAT GAME. AND PROOVED THE JUSTICE OF OUR CULTURE. NOW GO AND REST OUR HEROES !" This one's just hilarious. Before Engrish became a cross-cultural phenomenon, it was simply what happened when game developers couldn't afford decent writers and translators. In 1984, it really didn't matter.
How We Would End It: Honestly, we wouldn't change this one even if we could.