10. The Plaza Hotel

Neighborhood: Midtown East
Address: 768 5th Ave.
Website: fairmont.com/thePlaza

Ah, the Plaza Hotel: a New York icon, a symbol of decadence, and the backdrop for such romantic films as Sleepless In Seattle, The Way We Were, Scent of a Woman, and Crocodile Dundee II. Any discussion of sexy times in the Big Apple should begin here. While the spot may seem played out, rest assured, a cornucopia of erotic opportunities abound in this chintzy old inn.

The bathroom stalls have full-length doors and sturdy locks: an implicit “Do Not Disturb” sign. The “leather spa” provides a full service shoeshine, convenient for you mid-coitus multi-taskers out there.

For those feeling particularly freaky, tea and crumpets in the style of children’s book heroine Eloise will allow your lady to work out her daddy issues while you work your way through some macaroons.

Pro Tip: Note the gaudy fur coat collection displayed in the lobby. So convenient! You won’t have to lend your woman a robe or oversized t-shirt for the inevitable Walk of Shame … because Lord knows your broke ass can’t afford to rent a room.