Kristen Bell: Bell Curves (2007 Cover Story & Gallery)

Kristen Bell: Bell Curves (2007 Cover Story & Gallery)Interview by Tim Leong; Photography by Matt Doyle; Click Here For Additional Credits.

You didn’t think people were thinking of you in that way before?
Hell, no! My character on Heroes is very Lolita-ish in a much more adult way…wait, that didn’t make any sense. She’s very flirtatious. Sometimes I laugh when I’m trying to deliver a line, because I’m trying to be sexy and I’ll catch myself in the mirror and I’m just like, What are you doing? Because that’s not how I view myself.

I think legions of viewers would disagree.
Well, fair enough. I guess because I always played tomboys. Fanboys, I am a tomboy; Veronica Mars is kind of a tomboy. I’ve never played the pretty girl. One thing I had to fight in my career is hearing that I’m not homely enough to play the nerdy girl and not nearly pretty enough to play the pretty girl.

I love that feedback.
Right. “You’re just some mish-mash in between, but good job! It’s mainly just your face that’s standing in the way!” [Laughs.]

So how does it feel doing shoots like this, then? Is this awkward?
A little bit. It’s fun. ’Cause obviously I’m a 27-year-old woman and it’s great to feel sexy, but it’s funny to have womanly assets that I’m still tapping into. That I certainly hope I will never abuse.

OK, let’s jump into Fanboys. What was that set like, with all those guys around?
How dirty is this magazine?

It’s pretty dirty. Hit me.
I was the only girl on the set, which was fine, but it got really raunchy. We would, um…do you know how to play “Two in the pink, one in the stink”? [She demonstrates “The Shocker.”]

 

The idea of dating makes me want to vomit. And not out of grossness—OK, a little bit out of grossness, but just nerves. I’ve always been a serial monogamist.

 

Such as?
I don’t even know if I can even give those to you.

C’mon, give it a shot.
Two in the whale eye, one in the mud pie.

[Laughs.]
Don’t ever try it. Paul Rudd’s unbelievable at it, and Jason Segel came up with “two in estrogen’s womb, one in digestion’s tomb.”

[Laughs.] Speaking of shockers, you recently got out of a five-year relationship. [Ed. note—in the journalism biz, that’s what we call a “smooth transition.”] Are you seeing someone now?
I am not.

I would imagine our readers would like to know what you’re looking for in a guy.
Line ’em up! The idea of dating makes me want to vomit. And not out of grossness—OK, a little bit out of grossness, but just nerves. I’ve always been a serial monogamist. If someone can make me laugh, you’re in like Flynn. I like to laugh; that’s the number-one for me. Also, the old rule of thumb: If you’re not nice to the waiter, you’re out. And you’re not just out—I might kick your ass.

Is celebrity dating weird?
Totally weird.

Because you’re at a much different level than you were five years ago.
I’m probably never going to date again. I don’t want anyone to talk about it because I’m way too nervous, and it’s weird to know other people watch you do it. I might never leave the house again, I’m not going to lie. Thank God I have those walkie-talkie watches.

WATCH KRISTEN'S BEHIND-THE-SCENES VIDEO:

FOOTNOTES: 
1. The series, with its crack writing and supremely underrated ensemble cast, was arguably the UPN's best show of all time. Except maybe Homeboys in Outer Space. Man, how did that one elude the Emmy voters? [BACK]
2. At 5'1", Bell is taller than Rhea Perlman but a hair shorter than Yao Ming. She was also voted PETA's "World's Sexiest Vegetarian" for 2006! That has nothing to do with height, we just wanted to mention it. [BACK]
3. Bell and Heroes' Penettiere have been friends for years. And now that Hayden is 18 years old, it's OK to think about a sexy, sarcastic spy and indestructible cheerleader together. You know ... together. [BACK]
4. At one point in Fanboys, Bell wears the Princess-Leia-in-Jedi bikini. Did we mention that we're going to go see Fanboys? But not because she's in a Princess Leia bikini. Nope, it's because the, uh, cinematography. [BACK]

ADDITIONAL CREDITS: (STYLING) Jewels for the Wall Group. (HAIR) Jenny Cho for the Wall Group. (MAKEUP) Monika Blunder for the Wall Group. FIRST, TWELFTH, AND THIRTEENTH IMAGES: Shirt by Sharon Wauchob / shoes by Nicole Brundage / lingerie by Agent Provocateur. SECOND, NINTEENTH, COVER, AND ALTERNATE COVER IMAGES: Skirt by Stylist's own / bra by Agent Provocateur / bracelet by Bochic / bracelet by Le vian. THIRD, SEVENTEENTH, AND EIGHTEENTH IMAGES: Shirt by Sass & Bide / shoes by Jimmy Choo. FOURTH, FIFTH, FOURTEENTH, FIFTEENTH, AND SIXTEENTH IMAGES: Jumper by American Apparel / bra by Agent Provocateur / shoes by Stella McCartney.

Tags: kristen-bell, complex-cover-stories
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