Aubrey O’Day’s been blazing your TIVO through four seasons of Making the Band. Never one to fear overexposure, the Danity Kane frontwoman decided to show us what truly makes a Bad Girl tick. A word of advice: get your ice bath ready.
This feature originally appeared in Complex's October 2008 issue.
With all due respect to the other girls in Danity Kane, it’s easy to see why Diddy built his group around Aubrey O’Day. Simply put, Aubrey is that chick: the stunner who attracts paparazzi and Broadway1 producers alike, and the talent least likely to fall into the post-reality-show abyss2. But with great attention comes great hate. Aubrey’s also the only Kane girl to be dubbed a “slore,” to have her every outfit ridiculed, and to be romantically linked with Diddy (all on the always-accurate and ever- compassionate intarwebs).
So, to put it in Complex terms: Is Aubrey O’Day a wifey or a trifey? Predictably, the answer is, well, complex. The 24-year-old is well-traveled and smart enough to have pursued law school3, but silly enough to use a portrait of herself as her phone’s screensaver. She talks a great game about having sex, but you can tell she’s more into making love4. And she’s passionate about both her AIDS charity and porn. It’s a blurry line between her envelope-pushing “character,” and the real O’Day. In short, she’s a lady that you’ll probably want to get to know better.
I wouldn’t necessarily say that.
No, let’s address it, because that’s what everybody says.
Well, when you’re out at clubs, you must get approached in an aggressive way.
I think urban guys look at me and are like, “Here’s the white girl I’m gonna fuck.” Like, I met a famous basketball player the other night.
Who? What team?
I can’t, he’s too big. And, like, married.
LeBron! Carmelo! Yao Ming?!?!
Okay, I’ll stop.
So this nasty guy came up to me and says, “Come here. I’m the man, haven’t you heard?” And I said, “Well, I’m the woman, haven’t you heard?” And he was like—this is the third thing out of his mouth—“Well, I have a hotel here, so when are you going to come by to my room?”
It was so embarrassing and corny. I was disgusted. It’s funny that they think they can talk to me like that, like it’s so easy. “There’s that ho from Danity Kane, let me get her off tonight.”
If I have to be ridiculed and called a whore and the party animal and the dumb girl for the rest of my career, I’m OK with that. Because I love who I am.
Do you feel at all responsible for building that sort of persona on Making the Band?
You don’t build your persona on reality TV. They build your persona on reality TV. I just learned to stop wanting to control it. Hey, they need the bad girl of the group, and no one else is going to take that role.
So you stepped in.
Out of this group of women, I am definitely the most daring. I would be the natural pick for the badass. This is the truth about me—I’m just really real. I have friends that are drag queens in sex shows, and I have friends that are very religious and conservative. I don’t judge people. The one thing that you could do to upset me is to be judgmental or make close-minded comments.
You mean, like all tabloids and blogs?
If I have to be ridiculed and called a whore and the party animal and the dumb girl for the rest of my career, I’m OK with that. Because I love who I am. You’re going to have to interpret me however you’re going to interpret me.
Do you think people interpret you as a player?
Totally, and somebody that has sex a lot, too. Honey, I’d be in a much better mood right now. [Laughs.] Definitely misconceptions. I’ve only been with, um…my boyfriends.
Whoa, I thought you were about to say a number.
Oh, no, no, no. But it’s low. I’m a late bloomer—I lost my virginity when I was a junior in college, so I was almost 20. I never let a guy touch me. Not because I was against it, but I think I was a little insecure and I didn’t feel like I wanted to share my body.
So you weren’t even dating?
I didn’t date anyone; I didn’t even kiss a guy until the end of high school. I never drank until my sophomore year of college. I think there’s a parallel world within me. I’m very confident, but in relationships, not at all.
What kind of guys do you generally date?
I like dating guys who don’t take themselves too seriously. Who can make me laugh. Who are very smart. There are so many gorgeous men that come into my life, but they’re just very stupid and I can’t do it.
There’s this gorgeous model that’s been trying to get with me for me for a while. And the other night I was so lonely, I was like, “Screw it, maybe I’ll just date him while I’m in New York. I want someone to pay attention to me. He’ll do, he’s cute.” And then he writes me some text message—and he spells “tomorrow” T-O-M-A-R-R-O-W-W!
Maybe he had the Pearl—the Pearl is hard!
No, I checked to see if the A and O were near each other, and they’re not. There’s no excuse. There are certain words you shouldn’t spell wrong. I love getting to know someone and writing them back and forth, like who can be more witty. I would rather do dirty texting than have sex. I have a shirt in my clothing line [Heart On My Sleeve] that says, “I Love Dirty Texting.”
It’s that rush when you get a new message.
When you’re at dinner and you are listening to everybody but you’re actually writing some dirty shit, I love it! I’m so into that. But since I’ve been in this industry, my ideas of love have definitely changed. There are probably the worst aspects of human nature in this industry. It’s just very filthy.
I run my career, I don’t depend on anyone else to make me hot.
Speaking of the filthy industry, there have been rumors about you and Diddy. We recently interviewed Cassie, and the same rumors are dogging her.
Oh, those are rumors?
As far as we know. How do you respond to that kind of gossip?
I just don’t feel the need to respond to it at all. People are usually sensitive to things when they’re true, and they feel like people are exposing them. It’s ridiculous. And trust me, of all the things that I’m attracted to in a man, Diddy is none of those things. I run my career, I don’t depend on anyone else to make me hot.
Does the fact that you’re on Broadway and on the way to becoming a high-profile celebrity cause tension within your group?
I can answer that question this way: I am very dedicated to Danity Kane, and nothing I can ever do will conflict with my respect, love, and dedication to that project. So, on my end, there will never be any issues. I can’t speak for anyone else, but I can speak for myself.
How many Danity Kane albums are you locked in for?
Seven, not including holiday and live albums.
Damn! So that means at least five more to go.
In a perfect world, that’s what appears to be the case. But, as we all know, this world is not perfect.
Given that obligation, was doing the show worth it?
Since I was three years old, I wanted to be starring in a musical on Broadway. And now I am. Was it worth it? Yes, because today I am living the thing I’ve always dreamed of doing.
Good answer. So when people hear you’re best friends with Jenna Jameson, they think ...
I’m going to do sex tapes and porn. Jenna and I never even talk about porn. I think one time Jenna and I had a conversation about having sex on your period.
Oh, running a red light?
Yeah. There was some new guy I was dating, and it was the first time we were going to go there, and he was weird about it. So I ask Jenna for advice and she’s like, “Honey, it’s just a little war paint, who cares?”
Still, the first time...
Yeah, that’s what I was saying.
I guess you could just throw a towel down.
Ha! Yeah, I’m totally a towel girl. [Laughs.]
Is this an uncomfortable subject?
Oh, it’s fine. I love talking about my period.
Well, I suppose it’s something that can be broached with ...
someone you trust. Or you could just have anal sex.
Or you could just do that.
But that’s very high-risk behavior. I mean, it’s fine if you trust a person and you’re in a committed relationship.
That makes sense, but we’re talking about the first time. Do you think a guy could ask to use the back door the first time?
For females in general, sex is so much bigger than the physical feeling. It’s so emotional for us. I’ve known tons of girls who’ve had tons of sex with different people, and it’s the same thing across the board. So in order to let somebody go to that degree of sex, you have to really 100-percent trust them.
You seem to like to talk about sex.
I love porn.
You love watching it?
Totally. I watch YouPorn.
Do you have a favorite star?
Jenna Jameson, obviously.
Is it weird watching your BFF?
I watched her before she was my BFF, I don’t watch her anymore. I was actually masturbating one night to, like, Anal Sex Compilation #3 or whatever, and she was in it and I was like, “Oh no!” I had to turn it off. It was horrible. [Ed.—Jenna famously only lets men in the front door, so we’re guessing Aubrey’s a little confused about the title. Up and Cummers #11, maybe?]
I’m more turned on by watching the girls than the guys.
All this porn talk raises the question: Would you ever be in one?
I wouldn’t. I’d like to keep my sex life personal. I’ve had sex on camera with my boyfriend for fun, though.
Damn, you know those things can leak, right?
I’ve made all of them delete it right after we watched it.
That’s what you think.
No, I’ve watched them delete it. But let me tell you the key to that. If you do a live feed through the TV, you can watch it on the TV while you’re doing it and it never records.
The blogs are gonna go nuts over this discussion.
You know, the first time a lot of really bad stuff was being said, I called Jenna and was like, “I’m so mad.” And even Kim [Kardashian]. And both of them said the same thing: “Honey, you’ll love it because it’s making you a bigger star.” At the end of the day, it’s not hurting me.
You know, we were the first to put Kim on a magazine cover [February/March 2007].
She looked gorgeous.
And she’s still one of the most viewed people on Complex.com to this day.
Until I come along, honey. I’m about to break her record.
WATCH AUBREY's BEHIND-THE-SCENES VIDEOS:
1. Aubrey turned down three Broadway offers before joining Hairspray, which pairs her with boy-band alum Ashley Parker Angel. Somewhere in prison, Lou Pearlman is jealous. [BACK]
2. When Aubrey met much-maligned Making the Band alum Dylan, he told her that she was the female version of him. For her career's sake, we hope not. [BACK]
3. While at UC Irvine, Aubrey did a semester at sea, studying in nearly a dozen countries, including Cuba, where she heard Fidel Castro speak ... for 13 hours ... in Spanish. Don't sleep on her brain. [BACK]
4. Ever the romantic, Aubrey makes her assistant sleep with her because she hates to be alone. She also calls Lupe Fiasco "my future husband." Lu, you might need to kick, push up on that. [BACK]
(HAIR) Cesar Ramirez for KenBarboza.com. (MAKEUP) Lena Koro for Nars at ArtMixBeauty.com. (MANICURE) Toya 'Chi Chi' Carpenter for KenBarboza.com. FIRST IMAGE: Tank by Armani Exchange / Earrings by Lia Sophia / Bracelet by CC Skye. SECOND IMAGE: Lingerie by Si Belle / Tank and Necklace by Ksubi. THIRD, SEVENTH & NINTH IMAGES: Bra by Victoria's Secret / Panties by Intimissimi. FOURTH IMAGE: Bodysuit by Diesel Black Gold. FIFTH IMAGE: Bra by Si Belle / Jewelry by CC Skye. SIXTH, TENTH, ELEVENTH, AND TWELFTH IMAGES: Bodysuit by Intimissimi / Rings by Lia Sophia.