Guybrush Threepwood

Game: The Secret of Monkey Island

Swag Quote: You call yourself a pirate? You fight like a dairy farmer!

When your archenemy is a ghost-pirate-zombie, you’d think your primary weapon would be something really quick and really sharp. That’s true for Guybrush, but it’s not exactly what you’re thinking. Sure, he can cross swords with anyone who challenges him but his real weapon is his rapier wit.

There’s nothing more swag than tricking your enemies into undoing themselves, giving you more time to sit back and spend some quality time with your favorite wench. Guybrush is also gaming’s MacGyver; give him a pulley and a rubber chicken and the dude can get out of any situation. Let’s also not forget that he can play one heck of a mean banjo.