Northwestern University students should be on watch for a strange man who was seen masturbating in the shower of the Sports and Aquatics Center. Yesterday, the university sent out a campus-wide email to alert everyone of the seedy activity that's been going down:
From: firstname.lastname@example.org Date: Mon, Nov 28, 2011 at 7:26 PM Subject: Security Alert - Indecent Exposure To: [REDACTED]
On Nov. 27, 2011, at approximately 4 p.m. two male juveniles reported that while they were in the Sports and Aquatics Center on the Evanston campus, a man in the shower was engaged in self-gratification. No physical contact occurred between the man and the juveniles and they were not injured.
A detailed description of the offender could not be obtained.
The incident is under investigation by the Evanston Police Department. Contact the Evanston Police Department at 847-866-5000 or the University Police Department at 847-491-3456 if you have any information that might assist in this investigation.
The University Police Department reminds all community members to report suspicious activities/persons immediately to University Police or Evanston Police by dialing 911 or by using a blue light emergency telephone.
If anyone comes across the elusive wacker, they should report it to authorities immediately . These are the things that happen on a campus where a live "fucksaw" session was part of a Human Sexuality course. The more we hear about campus life at Northwestern, the more it sounds like an episode of Real Sex. Once again, students should be on the lookout, but not really because what you see might scar you.