Here's a convoluted take on the accidental pregnancy, involving alleged sperm theft.

Joseph Pressil of Long Island is suing a fertility clinic that he believes his ex-girlfriend used to store sperm that she, well, liberated from him. Pressil insists that Anetria Burnett used this stolen sperm to get pregnant, and then sued him for child support. However, Burnett's lawyer is calling BS, saying that Pressil injected her with hormone shots when the two were attempting to have a child.

According to Pressil, he and Burnett dated for six months back in 2006 when he was living in Texas. He added that they "always used condoms," so he had to raise an eyebrow when Burnett said she was pregnant with his twins. A DNA test proved he was the father, so Pressil was forced to part with $800 a month in child support.

Derek Deyon, Burnett's lawyer, is 100% convinced that Pressil's suit is motivated by the fact that he doesn't want to fork over that cash on a monthly basis. He says Pressil is playing dumb, because the Advanced Fertility Center of Texas requires a blood sample from the father, and the whole IVF procedure was paid for using his insurance and credit cards. He also referenced signed consent forms from Pressil, but a lawyer for the clinic had some disturbing information.

According to Danny Sheena, some men aren't comfortable visiting clinics, so samples aren't always submitted in person. As you may have guessed, Pressil's sample arrived in a cup, sealed inside of a plastic bag. As for the consent forms, he couldn't confirm that Pressil had signed them at the clinic, mentioning that it's very possible Burnett forged them.

Pressil's lawyer says that he never visited that clinic, and if this is all true, then Burnett is a diabolical genius who almost pulled off the perfect crime. Groupies everywhere should take note, especially with the return of the NBA on the verge. Burnett is an exotic dancer, so like Drake-and many others-he was dead wrong in thinking that he had found the girl of his dreams at the strip club.

Oh yeah, not that it really needed to be said, but those kids are gonna be fucked up.

[via Gothamist]

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