Okay, first the good news. Mario Kart 7 on the 3DS is amazing. The hang-gliding, the underwater racing, the controls, the tracks, it’s all great. Just as you’d expect.

But Super Mario 3D Land, not so much. As one of the games I bought the struggling handheld specifically for, I have to say that I was beyond disappointed when I played the game. It really pisses me the hell off.

For starters, the 3D is absolutely useless. Turn it off completely. The main problem is, it makes it really hard to judge jumps, and for a Mario game, that’s a major problem. Jumping is Mario’s bread and butter. And if a Mario game can’t nail that, then it’s screwed. And this game can’t nail that.

I still remember the first time I ever played Super Mario 64. The perspective had changed entirely, but it still felt like Mario. Judging distance wasn’t a problem as it all just fell into place naturally. But with my brief play through with THIS game, I died multiple times on some flipping floors—as seen in Super Mario Galaxy—and it was so frustrating, that I just gave up and left.

And while you may say, well, you just suck at Mario. No, that couldn’t be farther from the truth. I’ve gotten every single achievement and star in every single Mario game ever released, so this is coming from a true blue, Nintendo fanboy, Mario veteran, and I’m telling you, this game just doesn’t FEEL right to me.

It shouldn’t be so tough to land jumps, and while yeah, it might be something I just have to work at, it’ll be a first for me in a Mario game, as these games are usually so intuitive. But this one, not so much. I kind of want to trade in my 3DS already. Thank God Mario Kart is awesome. I don’t know what I’d DO if that one looked like it sucked.