Address: 766 9th Ave. # 1
Website: islandburgersnewyork.com
Best Bet: The Tijuana Burger ($10.25)

We need to warn you now, Island Burgers and Shakes is not even remotely vegetation friendl; not a single one of its 50+ options is of the veggie variety. But that's fine with us—that's exactly how a true meat mecca should be!

IBS (possibly the worst acronym ever for a burger place) is the spot you head to when you want to get down on an irresponsible amount of beef on the cheap. Its slim, surfer-esque-space has a chalkboard taking up roughly half the wall that covers all your meat options, and a menu clearly divided with tidy titles, like "simple," "hot" and "decadent," so you know exactly what you're getting yourself into.

Being that we're Complex (both by name and nature) we prefer to go the more creative route. The Tijuana Burger ($10.25) wins us over with its guacamole covered, smothered in jack cheese and sautéed onion self, as does the Napalm ($10.25), the aptly-named combo of charred, juicy meat topped with BBQ sauce, a mess of jalapeño and cheddar topped with a habanéro, mayo-covered bun.

An added bonus: Every burger is also available in chicken-form, what IBS calls a "churasco." And the fries? These spuds are generously peppered, just thick-enough fries that have minimum potato and maximum crunchy fried-ness, the kind built for copious condiment usage.

And lest you be confused about why this burger costs a ten spot, keep in mind that this is a far cry from the yellow-arch, pancake-thin variety of patty. This is a thick, juicy slab of red meat that requires both hands to eat, and a minimum of 20 minutes couch time post-consumption. And if you decide to go the shake route, you should do the thick, just chocolate-ly enough Black and White Shake ($4.75), and add an extra ten minutes to that ass-on-sofa time.