We've got a lot of love for The Real World and everything it represents, which is, of course, the comfort it brings in knowing that, as bad as things get in our own lives, we will never be as messed up as the folks in the respective house. But reading over the show's 30-page standard contract, recently acquired and published by The Village Voice, we can't help but feel more thankful than ever that we're just viewers, not participants.

Disguised by legal jargon, the gist is basically as follows (as paraphrased in our own words):

• You can't have an STD, but remember that other people might because they're too lazy to test everybody.
• No one working on the show is guaranteeing that participants are free of HIV and herpes and all that stuff because, again, they're too lazy to test everyone.
• Also, "Interacting with other cast members carries the risk of 'non-consensual physical contact.'"
• If you become pregnant, they're dunzo with you. They already have a show about chicks who are preggers, of course, and you don't fit the age bracket.
• You have no "moral rights." Basically, they own your ass.
• They reserve the right to edit scenes as they choose, meaning if they want to fabricate anything about you for the sake of the show, they can. In other words, you have basically signed away every single right you have. For reality television.

Well, damn.

[Via The Village Voice]