17. FANTASTIC FOUR (2005)

In 2005, Marvel’s first family was primed to finally hit the big screen and erase the stain of Roger Corman's shelved laugh-fest, made in 1994 (keep reading for that debacle). With decades of comic mythology and fan support backing them up, Fantastic Four's blockbuster incarnation was highly-anticipated.

But before the cameras ever started rolling, Fox ruined the movie by hiring Tim Story to helm the flick. Names like Guillermo del Toro and Alfonso Cuarón were tossed around, but, apparently, Story's mildly entertaining Barber Shop was so momentous to Fox executives that he was deemed simply too talented (or cheap) to pass up.

What followed was a 105-minute mess that completely bastardized the Fantastic Four mythos, piling layers of camp and cheese on top of its cinematic corpse. Instead of hiring real actors, Fox decided on the lifeless talents of thespians such as Jessica Alba and Julian McMahon to carry the film's key roles; Alba played the Invisible Woman with the blandness of white toast, and McMahon turned Doctor Doom into the bargain bin version of Gordon Gekko.

 

blog comments powered by Disqus