6. ASK THE DUST (2006)

Check out Colin Farrell’s character’s name in this lifeless period romance: Arturo Bandini. If that’s not a good enough clue to indicate how miscast the un-suave Irishman is in Ask The Dust, maybe Farrell’s career-long inability to deliver a subtle performance will make one question his presence in a talky and nuanced drama of this kind.

Or, you can just watch the flick and witness the awkwardness for yourselves, though we wouldn’t advise it. His character is a struggling writer who enters a torrid affair with a sultry Mexican waitress (Salma Hayek), which leads to ruminations on racism, a shortage of chemistry between Farrell and Hayek, and an obligatory “Salma-Hayek skinny-dipping” scene that’s not nearly as satisfying as one would hope.

For that last crime alone, Ask The Dust deserves constant ridicule, not the anonymity that it’s earned through mediocrity. Don’t act like you knew this Farrell-starring snooze existed prior to reading this.

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