6. TAI THE ELEPHANT IN LARGER THAN LIFE (1996)

Imagine if Tai the elephant had starred in a movie that didn’t suck—you know, one that she had even the slightest bit of interest in making. In Bill Murray’s deservedly forgotten failure Larger Than Life, the massive elephant walks around looking like she’s bored to tears; granted, it’s not like elephants ever come across as anything more than apathetic. But still, Tai plods through every scene with a distinct sleepiness.

And here’s the crazy part: She’s electric compared to Murray. Larger Than Life must’ve come at a time when Murray had some debts to pay off; playing a motivational speaker who inherits his dead father’s beloved pachyderm, named Vera, the usually hilarious actor drifts through the film without saying anything even remotely humorous.

He’s the straight-man to Tai’s mischievous sidekick, yet even Tai seems humiliated at having to pull laughs from scenes in which she steps on cell phones and eats a bunch of junk food. Give her some credit—she’s the only one who left the Larger Than Life set with any dignity.

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