3. ED THE CHIMPANZEE IN ED (1996)
Does it matter that Ed, the chimp third baseman in this laugh-free family comedy, is actually an animatronic puppet? Yes, actually. To minimally defend the other actors on this list, they all had to contend with creatures that breathe and have souls, albeit with the occasional CGI facial movements; in Ed, Matt LeBlanc—a huge television star at the time thanks to Friends—is essentially upstaged by a life-size toy. No wonder he was subsequently benched on Hollywood’s leading man team.
LeBlanc, whose performance brings to mind a poor man’s Tony Danza whenever he’s not completely wooden, is no match for Ed. A surprisingly lifelike puppet, the fun-loving doll spits milk through its nose, farts, drives a pick-up truck, and turns triple plays faster than Alex Rodriguez. Ed doesn’t have much to do other than act out a litany of Brainless Children’s Movie Screenwriting 101 tactics, but at least the animators gave it the ability to smile. Whenever LeBlanc grins, you can practically hear him whispering under his breath: “I’m going to fucking kill my agent.”