You're in Vegas. You’re walking down the hotel hallway. You check behind you, only to find that your friend isn’t following you anymore. You backtrack for the 13th time, only to find him stuck behind a goddamn serving cart. Which wouldn’t be so bad normally, but this is also the 13th time he’s gotten caught behind an inanimate object. And you can’t touch him because he’s covered in vomit. You're fed up, so you leave him there. Unfortunately, when you get back to your hotel room your girlfriend yells at you for leaving her brother passed out in the hallway, and you don’t get any that night. Mission failed.
Escort missions, in real life or in a game, are pure pain. For every well-executed escort mission (Half Life 2, Resident Evil 4, Ico), you get 349 crappily implemented ones—many of which are in games like WoW (sorry, we couldn’t find video of that stupid mission in the Barrens where you escort the Elf). You really don’t have any control over the character you’re escorting, and they love to make you restart the mission by diving headfirst into enemy fire. We understand that game devs are trying to make us form a bond with the NPC, but when it comes to these 8 insufferable escort missions, there's no line at all between love and hate.
By Ryan Woo