Everyone likes powering up. You may have powered up recently by eating a protein bar, slowing down time (puff puff pass!), or getting your girl pregnant (which, on the bright side, is like getting the Option in Gradius if you think about it). But some power-ups are just plain useless. You acquire such things in hopes that they'll upgrade your life somehow, but you end up being let down by lofty expectations. You thought that your new Android phone upgrade was going to be truly awesome, and it was—until the battery died after four hours on standby and sending one text message. You dumped your sort-of-frumpy-yet-faithful girlfriend for a hotter one, only to find out that Miss 2.0 has three other boyfriends and a penchant for burning your clothes for no reason. Video game power-ups can be hit and miss too.

Some upgrades/weapons can be truly gameplay-changing, while others just waste a slot in your inventory, never to be used again. We’ve compiled a list of some of the crappiest power-ups in gaming history—and no, we don’t care if that power-up had some inconsequential use during one particular enemy that you could have beaten anyway without said power-up.

By Ryan Woo