1. THE COCKROACHES IN JOE’S APARTMENT (1996)
Frankly, if not for this countdown, we’d have totally forgotten that this movie even exists. Something tells us Jerry O’Connell and MTV executives would prefer that frame of mind.
Starting out as a moronic yet harmless MTV short, Joe’s Apartment was foolishly stretched out into an 80-minute feature because…well, we’re not quite sure. It’s not like Toys ‘R’ Us was clamoring for singing and dancing toy cockroaches. Biting the California Raisins’ style, the army of roaches inside Joe’s (O’Connell) pad make up for their minute size with ostentatious musical numbers; unlike the smooth-talking Raisins, though, the bugs also love to cockblock Joe and frequently disrupt his personal space.
In our version, Joe would hit up the nearest BJ’s Wholesale Club, stock up on Raid, and decimate the roach population all in the movie’s first ten minutes. And then he’d invite the Cali Raisins over to sing Bone Thugs ‘N’ Harmony’s “Tha Crossroads” as Joe swept the roach carcasses into a trash can. You could sell a movie trailer off of that image alone.