Act Right: Alec Baldwin's Politician Faces

Act Right: Alec Baldwin's Politician Faces


The worlds of politics and movies are more similar than you might think; success in both fields is fully dependent on how much the audience believes the bullshit you're selling. That's why it wasn't really shocking when Alec Baldwin hinted at quitting 30 Rock in 2012 and making a run for office (barring the end of the world, of course). So how would he do as a public official? Pretty fucking great, we think. In his three decades acting, Baldwin has displayed the full range of faces that a politician needs to win the vote. See for yourself...

By Dimas Sanfiorenzo

THE "I'M FRIENDLY WITH BLACKS" FACE
With the exception of Bill Clinton, white politicians have struggled to really connect with African American voters—no matter how much sputtering of Jay-Z lines they do. And this is where Baldwin's Redd Foxx impression as 30 Rock's Jack Donaghy comes in handy: His relatable voice instantly gives him credibility within the black community. Wait, what? You say this is somewhat racist? Nah, man, it's cool. Look, Tracy Morgan is there. It's cool, it's cool...

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THE "INTOLERANT CHRISTIAN FUNDAMENTALIST" FACE
Look at what Baldwin, playing Frederick J. Frenger Jr. in Miami Blues, does to a peaceful, if slightly annoying, Hare Krishna. We know he's left wing, but if he has this same reaction towards Muslims, he can just consider the Conservative vote wrapped up.

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THE "I STRONGLY OPPOSE CRIME" FACE
The truth is, we want our politicians to be tough—that's why shit like their military record is so vital to a campaign. While no veteran, Baldwin clearly demonstrates the ability to bust a couple of heads in The Shadow while kicking Mongolian ass as Lamont Cranston, a.k.a. The Shadow. Extra points for him rocking the correct Middle Eastern spy garments. EARLY!

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THE "I CAN KEEP A STRAIGHT FACE" FACE
Listen: He was able to withstand Ben Affleck's feeble attempts at acting without bursting out in laughter in Pearl Harbor. Listening to you complain about the tax on tampons will be a cinch.

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THE "I'M VASTLY SUPERIOR TO YOU" FACE
If you want voters to think you're better than the next asshole, you've got to believe that you are superior in every way and convey that. Want to feel like an unworthy piece of shit? Just watch Baldwin emasculating underachieving employees as sales strategist Blake in Glengarry Glen Ross. We haven't felt this low since the last time a dominatrix twisted her heel in our "dirty, dirty slave" scrotum.

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THE "I...AM...ABOUT...TO...SWAG IN YOUR EYE!" FACE
Humble pie is good sometimes, but really, to be a successful politician you need an abundance of confidence (what the kids refer to as swag, and what Baldwin displays as Jed Hill, the doctor with a God complex in Malice). This is essentially what kept Bush in office for two terms. Maybe you think he went a little too far proclaiming he was God, but nah, we're Americans. WE ARE GOD!!! BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Seriously.

Tags: 30-rock, alec-baldwin, politicians
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