Another benefit of dropping out of school and living at home is the money you’ll save. "Saving Money" sounds more like a resolution than a new vice, so I’m thinking maybe just stop earning money. All of those college kids took the good jobs anyway. And then some of the bad ones.

Look at all the free time your new vices are giving you though. They’re giving you your life back! And they require zero effort with a rather high success rate. I’m thinking you could pick up another vice, just for fun, and maybe watch TV, a lot. It’s a low cost alternative to doing things, all from the comfort of your (mother’s) own home.

Happy New Year’s, and here’s a premature toast from the couch to sticking with it.