TV: Reports say Jennifer Lopez is getting $12 million to be a judge on the next season of American Idol. It seems she's not getting the picture deal/planet named after her/keys to Simon Cowell's jet ski she asked for, though. [Deadline Hollywood]
Politics: A (really freaky looking) Texas skateboarder thwarts a would-be Quran burning. It's no "They rapin' everybody out here!" but "Dude, you have no Quran" sounds pretty meme-worthy to us. [Huffington Post]
Comics: You don't even need to honk—if you can decipher these comic book bumper stickers, you're definitely a fanboy. [Comics Alliance]
Movies:Mickey Rourke's signed on for Ice Man: Confessions of a Mafia Contract Killer, in which he'll play...a Mafia contract killer. We fux with that. [Hollywood Reporter]
Crime: Reputed Mexican drug lord Sergio Villarreal "El Grande" Barragan got pinched over the weekend. This is after Mexican authorities killed a drug lord named "Nacho" and arrested another named "La Barbie." Gotta wonder how well Barbie's prison stay is gonna go. [Sky News]
