Soul On Ice Beasts: When Rich White People Go To Prison

Soul On Ice Beasts: When Rich White People Go To Prison

RWP_Spector

PHIL SPECTOR
Crime: Following the fatal February 2003 shooting of actress Lana Clarkson at his mansion, the pop and rock music producer was found guilty of second-degree murder and using a firearm in the commission of a crime on April 13, 2009.
Time served: April 13, 2009-present (Spector got the maximum sentence of 19 years to life)
Complex says: We only ask that the judge tack on another life sentence for Spector's hair, which has slain us repeatedly.

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RWP_DowneyJr

ROBERT DOWNEY, JR.
Crime: Following a 1996 traffic stop that turned up heroin, cocaine, a gun, and one drunk actor, the alcoholic coke, crack, and heroin addict repeatedly violated probation and ducked out on drug rehabilitation programs until he was jailed for six months in October 1997. In 1999, he was sentenced to three years in jail for cocaine possession (he was released in 2000 after an appeal).
Time served: 1997-1998, 1999-2000
Complex says: A substance abuse problem and time spent in captivity... Y'know, this guy could make a really great Iron Man...

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RWP_Milken

MICHAEL MILKEN
Crime: On April 24, 1990, the "Junk Bond King," who was indicted on 98 counts of racketeering and fraud after participating in insider trading, pleaded guilty to six counts of securities and tax violations.
Time served: March 1991-January 1993
Complex says: Saying that a guy who cheated investors out of hundreds of millions of dollars deserved to go bald and get prostate cancer is foul, so we won't. Besides, dude is still worth over a billion! Need a shoe shine, good sir?

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RWP_Kozlowski

DENNIS KOZLOWSKI
Crime: On June 17, 2005, the former CEO of TYCO was convicted of multiple counts of grand larceny, conspiracy, falsifying business records, and securities fraud (for, among other things, giving himself unauthorized bonuses that totaled $81 million).
Time served: September 19, 2005-present (sentenced to 8.33 to 25 years)
Complex says: The Koz maintains that his only crime is making too much money, thus making other people jealous. Fortunately, nobody can jail us for our enviable manhood.

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RWP_Bakker

JIM BAKKER
Crime: In 1989, the televangelist who was previously disgraced by an extramarital sex scandal, was convicted on eight counts of mail fraud, 15 counts of wire fraud, and one count of conspiracy, essentially moving monies around so he and his family could live luxuriously.
Time served: 1989-July 1994 (five years of a 45-year sentence that was reduced to eight)
Complex says: If there's one thing Jesus teaches us, it's this: Washing off your sins is one thing, but you should really never literally wash yourself with shower curtains that cost less than $570.

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RWP_Enron_Lay

KENNETH LAY
Crime: On May 25, 2006, the Enron CEO, whose corruption and bankrupting of the energy company lost billions of dollars for investors (many of whom were employees left jobless and minus their life savings), was convicted of conspiracy, fraud, and making false statements.
Time served: July 5, 2006-eternity (Lay died before he could start serving his 20- to 30-year sentence)
Complex says: This is how you guarantee you'll never get a #1 BOSS mug.

Tags: enron, ken-lay, lindsay-lohan, martha-stewart, paris-hilton, phil-spector, robert-downey-jr
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