10. THE CELL (2000)

Director: Tarsem Singh

Synopsis: To find clues that will help the FBI locate and save a captive woman, a child psychologist (Jennifer Lopez) uses a virtual reality device to enter the mind of a comatose serial killer (Vincent D'Onofrio). Eventually she invites him into her mind, which is, sadly, the closest we've come to seeing video of "Jenny from the block" giving brains.

Complex says: As with Singh's The Fall, this flick is full of beautiful visuals, not the least of which is J.Lo's glorious end table of an ass in the bodysuit one is "required" to wear to enter people's mind.



Director: Richard Linklater

Synopsis: An undercover agent (Keanu Reeves) is sent to infiltrate a drug ring, only he does his job a little too well and gets hooked on the "D" himself (II)—so much so that he actually forgets he's a cop in the first place, until we learn that the cops wanted him to get addicted so he could in turn infiltrate a rehabilitation facility that's actually running the dope in the first place. With us still? 'Cause we ain't.

Complex says: To paraphrase Richard Pryor: It's not doing the drugs that's the problem; it's when you stop doing the drugs that the shit hits the fan (or the fire hits the hair, as the case may be). So as long as the dutchie's passed, we don't mind having absolutely no idea what the fuck is going on in this flick.



Director: Michel Gondry

Synopsis: Boy (Jim Carrey) meets girl (Kate Winslet) on the Long Island Rail Road, they hit it off and ride off into the sunshine together (ha!), at which point they gradually learn that (you guessed it!) they're actually former lovers who, in the throes of a bad breakup, had their memories of each other erased by a shady company specializing in such wipings, all of which we learn through flashbacks from the guy's own memory, which...HOW THE HELL DOES THAT MAKE ANY FUCKING SENSE? *Pops aspirin, shuts laptop*

Complex says: Lacuna, Inc. sounds like an expensive and needlessly complicated way to lose a memory. Any time we want to forget something we simply consult the firm of Corona, Patron, Henny, and Coke, LLC.



Director: Julian Schnabel

Synopsis: Onetime ELLE editor Jean-Dominique Bauby (Mathieu Amalric) suffers a stroke that paralyzes him from the neck down. Speechless and trapped in his own mind, he learns to communicate by blinking his one functioning eye as a speech therapist goes through the alphabet letter by letter, and thus writes his memoir. And this is a true story. What the fuck has your lazy ass done lately?

Complex says: We can only imagine how completely frustrating it would be to blink out "F-A-I-L" five minutes after somebody said some dumb shit.



Director: David Lynch
Synopsis: A mysterious woman (Laura Elena Harring) survives a limo accident but loses her memory before meeting a wannabe actress (Naomi Watts) who promises to help her find her identity. Meanwhile, a Hollywood director (Justin Theroux) gets pressured to cast an unknown actress (Melissa George) in his new film, only to have his life crumble around him when he refuses. Along the way there's this crazy-scary bum hanging out behind a diner, a cowboy called The Cowboy, and a really weird dwarf with a funny voice. Then the first two chicks have sex and... yup, you heard right, the first two chicks have sex! And one of 'em's Naomi Watts.

Complex says: And to think, we used to have to sit through two-hour-plus art films to catch a little girl-on-girl action. You're wondering why Lynch has only made one feature since MD?


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