Chickens, cougars, and bitches? Despite what misogynists have told you, women don't actually share DNA with birds, cats, or dogs. It's too bad, really, because that peanut butter on your junk isn't gonna lick itself up! If the idea of mutant women turns you on, you have to go see Vincenzo Natali's new horror flick, Splice, this weekend. Adrien Brody and Sarah Polley play geneticists who create "Dren" (Delphine Chaneac), a tossed salad of human and other animal DNA that has human breasts, a bald head, bird-like feet, and a tail with a stinger. She's simultaneously disturbing and desirable (it gets no more exotic, my dudes). Instead of feeling weird about your attraction, embrace it. And while you're at it, check out the hottest movie mutants...

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