Your favorite Houston rapper, Slim Thug, a.k.a. The Big Boss of the Nawth, has a full-blown addiction to Breaking Bad. Like us, he loves the darkly humorous AMC drama about a high school chemistry teacher (Walter White, played by Bryan Cranston) who's diagnosed with cancer and begins cooking crystal meth with a former student (Jesse Pinkman, Aaron Paul) to provide for his family. He loves it so much, in fact, that he's doing a weekly column on it for Complex. Each week, Slim gives you the highlights of that week's episode and provides the exclusive Slim Thugga Breaking Bad Thuggin' Index detailing how realistic the dealings on the episode were. Check it all after the jump...
• The main thing about the last episode was Hank. He beats Jesse 'cause he thinks he was behind the hoax phone call that his wife was in a crash. Hank loses his badge and gun 'cause he tells the truth in his report.
• In the hospital, Jesse says he's gon' take Hank for everything he's worth until he goes ahead and kills himself. He also says if the cops get him he'll snitch on Walt. He handles Walt rough, calls him a bitch and everything! But then Walt fires his lab assistant and gets Jesse the job as his 50/50 potna on that $3 million.
• The Cousins try to get revenge for Tuco and kill Hank, but somebody calls him and lets him know they comin'. The Cousins shoot Hank but he runs into one of 'em with his car and shoots the other one in the head.
THE SLIM THUGGA BREAKING BAD THUGGIN' INDEX:
#1: WOULD A COP EVER TELL THE WHOLE TRUTH ABOUT BEATING SOMEONE?
Hell nah. You feelin' that good about it and you riskin' jail time and losin' your job? Yeah right. Ain't no way [Hank's superiors] woulda let him go down like that. You know how much coverage that'd get, an officer actually admitting he beat up a dude? Off press alone, no way they woulda did it. They woulda made him say somethin' different. It's your word against theirs. If they whuppin' on ya, most likely you familiar with 'em and you got a record already, and who gon' believe you?
#2: DO KNUCKLES LOOK THAT RAW AFTER YOU BEAT SOMEONE?
They can look like that. It's all depending on how bad the beating was. I done seen people's hands get fucked up. Like, when I was in jail or whatever and an inmate was trippin' or whatever, wasn't actin' right, he was wilin' out, and the laws beat his ass, they put on they gloves first. They'd throw on their gloves, bring 'em in the corner, and beat the shit out of 'em, and you'd just hear 'em hollerin'.
#3: CAN YOU THREATEN TO SNITCH ON SOMEONE, EVEN JOKINGLY, AND LIVE?
After you talk about snitchin', that's relationship over in the streets. You puttin' your life in danger when you talk about gettin' people locked up. That could cost you your life right there. They scared, they don't wanna lose their freedom, so you're a target. You can't play like that in the real streets.
#4: WOULD ASSASSINS TRY TO KILL A COP IN BROAD DAYLIGHT?
Mufuckas from Mexico would. They crazy as a mufucka. I know you see what's goin' on down there. They don't give a fuck. With what's goin' on in Mexico, them mufuckas seem like they got the laws scared. It's that serious. So I don't put nothin' past them mufuckas in Mexico.
#5: DO A LOT OF CRIMINALS WEAR BULLETPROOF VESTS?
I don't think so. I mean, I had one before, a few of my potnas had 'em before, but nobody's really walkin' around wearin' no bulletproof vest every day, like it ain't that serious. At least in Houston, mufuckas ain't walkin' around wearin' no bulletproof vest. It's too hot, that's for damn sure! You wear a bulletproof vest in Houston, you gon' fuck around and pass out. [Laughs.]
WHAT TO LOOK FOR NEXT WEEK:
SLIM SAYS: I wanna see what's gonna happen after Hank killed one of the Cousins. One of them didn't die. He in the hospital. Now is it out of control where the cartel is gonna be like, "Fuck that! We fitna go kill everybody!"? I just wanna see what kind of war that starts. What the police gon' do about it? I wanna know who made that phone call to Hank about the gunmen coming for him. Gus mighta did it, 'cause he's the only one who really knew. On Walt's end of it, him and Jesse are back partnering up, but after Jesse talkin' about he might snitch, I don't know how good that's gonna end up being. I think they gonna get back to their old shit and be cool, unless Walt's scared. With Hank getting shot, and him asking Gus if his family is in danger, I wonder if that's gonna scare him out of workin' with Gus any longer. He might quit. No tellin'.