Porn stars are people too. (Well, except for the animals, but that's illegal.) And just like everyone else, they're born and they die and in between some may get arrested or strung out or win awards for taking deliveries in the backdoor but the fact remains that we didn't see the point of using commas in this sentence so that it would sound breathless. Did it work? Awesome. Read on to see who's dethroned Heather Hunter as the porn queen of hip-hop and why you should always go through the drive-through when getting McDonald's in Japan...
4/5/1982 LACEY DUVALLE BORN IN WASHINGTON, DC
• What with inspiring a Charles Hamilton song and baring it all in a Tony Yayo video, the Urrea's greatest export since Dave Chappelle might just be hip-hop's favorite pornita. Which is a word we just made up.
4/9/1974 JENNA JAMESON BORN IN LAS VEGAS
• And thus began the most storied porn career of all time. OF ALLLLLL TIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIME.
4/9/1979 KATSUNI BORN IN LYON, FRANCE
• The Vietnamese-French same-facer (seriously, if you can find a picture of her wearing anyhting but that one expression, then you win a cookie) came over from the Continent to win two different AVN Awards for "Best Anal Sex Scene." We bet she's not Continent anymore!
JAPANESE PORN CREW ARRESTED FOR FILMING IN MCDONALD'S
• Kunikazu Ishii, his two starring actors, and his crew were all arrested for filming at the McDonald's in Saitama Prefecture. Did they break in? Funny you should ask. No, they were noticed by a CUSTOMER because they were filming at THREE IN THE AFTERNOON. Sounds like someone picked the wrong time to burgle some ham. Robble robble!
4/12/2009 MARILYN CHAMBERS DIES IN SANTA CLARITA, CALIFORNIA
• From Ivory Soap girl to groundbreaking'70s porn icon (ever hear of Behind the Green Door? It's like the Rashomon of porn!), the retired legend died of natural causes, albeit at the young age of 57. A tip of the cap to you, Madam, for bringing so many of America's young men into adulthood.