If you don't learn from history, you're doomed to repeat it. Given that this is a history of the porn industry, we are happy to revisit it every damn day like we're Bill Murray and this is Groundhog Day. One thing we would like to see corrected, though: There appears to be nobody in hardcore pun-ography who's used a brilliant April 1st title like April Fools Around with 100 Dongs. Oh well. Check out the first time some classic adult stars passed through vaginas and some political porn embarrassment...
3/29/02: "TRIBUTE TO KING JOHN HOLMES" RELEASED
• Apparently Boogie Nights (1997) wasn't direct enough in its tribute to the well endowed star of such porn classics as Tell Them Johnny Wadd Is Here and Cream Rinse. Like he was being coached by Dennis Green, King Holmes did crown their asses.
3/29/09: BRITISH HOME SECRETARY APOLOGIZES FOR PORN CHARGES
• After a newspaper revealed that she'd used Â£21 ($30) of taxpayer money to order two pay-per-view adult films, British home secretary Jacqui Smith had to make a public apology and agree to repay taxpayers. Sadly, a money shot was not deemed an acceptable method of repayment.
3/31/52: VANESSA DEL RIO BORN IN HARLEM, NY
• The Afro-Cuban and Puerto Rican porn star first got into the biz in 1974, and, as one of the most recognizable non-white actresses in the game, became one of rap's most name-checked stars. Ice Cube, The Game, and Chubb Rock (ayo!) all busted...rhymes to her.
4/1/87: JENNA PRESLEY BORN IN SAN DIEGO, CA
• A couple facts about Presley: 1) She's not related to Elvis, 2) she continued to shoot scenes with men in 2009 after saying she was going to stop in 2007, and 3) even though she seems to have followed through and gone the route of all-girl masturbation fests, we can still watch her in hardcore action because moments in time live forever on the web. Hooray, Internet!
4/4/61: TOM BYRON BORN IN HOUSTON, TEXAS
• Name doesn't ring a bell? Perhaps you recognize "The Great White Hope" of porn from his early work with underage co-star and girlfriend Traci Lords. Not that you have any VHS tapes secretly stashed in the garage or anything, because that would be illegal.