We know what people think of us, but we're nothing if not historians. Look at the elbow patches on our tweed jackets and our inkstained hands! It's hard work poring through the vast reference materials of the physical world in order to chronicle the comings and—well, just the comings, we guess—of the adult entertainment industry, but we do it because we love our readers. And also because the photo research isn't the worst thing in the world...
3/24/69: HOUSTON BORN IN LONG BEACH, CALIFORNIA
• Look, just because a woman who made her bones starring in a
500620-man extravangaza and then taking a kid to his high school prom (and subsequently dating him) doesn't mean she didn't start out as a tiny baby! Think about THAT the next time you're, uh, viewing her work.
3/28/87: KAGNEY LINN KARTER BORN IN HARRIS COUNTY, TEXAS
• Fun fact: the phrase "everything's bigger in Texas" was originally coined to explain the torsal contours of Miss Karter, the proud Best New Starlet at this year's AVN Awards.
3/27/98: BROOKE ASHLEY TESTS POSITIVE FOR HIV
• We just used the thesaurus widget on our laptop to see what it gave as synonyms for "cautionary tale," and it came back with "filming a 50-man anal gangbang." She's doing well, thankfully, but can we just say "ouch!"?
3/28/03: HUMPTY HUMP AND MONEY B HOST "SEX AND THE STUDIO"
• The movie officially came out a few days later, but the early online release allowed Internet-savvy
pornhoundsrap fans to watch beloved MCs like Redman, Snoop, and Ras Kass not have sex. Speaking of which, we still don't understand the porn x rap thing. Maybe we would if we were rappers.
3/26/09: ALEX MONROE ARRESTED FOR EMPLOYING UNDERAGE STRIPPER
• Wait, unseemly things happen involving adult entertainers? Why women who have sex on camera for money be willing to engage in such senseless behavior? We are shocked. SHOCKED.