Few know that Notre Dame's Fighting Irish mascot is based on Sean Penn.
Wednesday is St. Patrick's Day, which means we'll all be celebrating Irish heritage by acting as disrespectfully, stereotypically Irish as possible. But while non-Celts put on a red wig and brogue and get pissy drunk until they end up yelling at and fighting a pool of their own vomit, there are actual Irish and Irish American celebrities who live up to such Irish stereotypes every day. In honor of the children of Ireland who make St. Paddy so proud, Complex raises a pint o' green beer to these fine folks...
CONAN O'BRIEN
• He'd make this list for his red hair alone, but when you consider that NBC is paying him $45 million to not host The Tonight Show, he's hoarding the luck o' the Irish this year.
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SEAN PENN
• People may have forgotten that Masshole Marky Mark Wahlberg assaulted two Asian men in his youth because he's internalized his hate and calmed the fuck down, but Penn, on the other hand, continues to snuff paparazzi just for living.
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AUBREY O'DAY
• Word to our spank bank overflowing with girl-on-girl action, this former Danity Kane songstress is fluent in Gaelic.
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BILL O'REILLY
• Nothing says "Kiss me, I'm Irish" like a verbally abusive blowhard who argues nonsensical points just to hear the sound of his own voice.
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SHAQUILLE O'NEAL
• See, Black Irish do exist!
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COLIN FARRELL
• He's cleaned up his act, but in his partying prime this Irishman was infamous for his drinking and smoking, though he never did try to hide his lucky charms from the bimbos.
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ALEC BALDWIN
• Who could forget when Dad o' the Year flipped on his "rude, thoughtless little pig" of a daughter and promised to "straighten [her] ass out" because she wasn't picking up her phone when he called. Sigh. If only our dad cared half that much we wouldn't be so green with envy.