Unless you're a 30-plus Luddite with children, 11:30 p.m. is a time for putting fireworks in the urinals of fancy restaurant bathrooms. But if you're stuck on the couch gripping a baby monitor and fighting the wife for the remote and the fourth pint of Ben & Jerry's, you might be a fan of late night talk shows, in which case you're gonna love our Late Night Awards. This week Jon Stewart skewers the head tea-bagger, Jimmy Fallon makes even us uncomfortable, and Betty White fulfills our strangest fantasy...

BEST CAVE MAN IMPERSONATION: JON STEWART
• Stephen Colbert's made a hot career out of imitating a Fox News blowhard; but Stewart's now got claim to the hottest Fox parody yet with his 10-minute plus breakdown of Glenn Beck's schtick.

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BEST GMILF SCENE: BETTY WHITE ON THE TONIGHT SHOW
• How desperate is Leno these days? This desperate.

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BEST SEXUALIZATION OF A 16-YEAR-OLD: LATE NIGHT WITH JIMMY FALLON
• Dakota Fanning will be 18 years old soon, but she ain't quite there yet. Hey Jimmy, if you're creeping us out, you've probably gone a step (or 20) too far.

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WORST JAY LENO MONOLOGUE: JAY LENO
• Because you drink on St. Patrick's Day. And you puke after you drink. Get ittttttttt?!?

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BEST BOB BARKER ALLUSION: THE COLBERT REPORT
• Someday kids will associate The Price Is Right with Drew Carey. Until then, B-Squared = instant laughs.

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