We're doing some spring cleaning this month and getting rid of broke, one-night stand trifeys. Fortunately, March gives us some of the sexiest wifey birthday material to choose from—Eva Longoria and Olivia Wilde to name a couple. So, in the renewing spirit of the season, we've gathered a list of the hottest March birthday girls to toast once the snow clears...

brendsong
BRENDA SONG, 3/27/88
CLAIM TO FAME: Plays London Tipton on The Suite Life On Deck, filming The Social Network opposite Justin Timberlake
PRESENT WE'D GIVE HER: A recurring gig that isn't on the Disney Channel so she could actually show some skin. Born in '88? Old enough.

CLICK NEXT TO SEE MORE MARCH BIRTHDAY GIRLS!

 

kvd
KAT VON D, 3/8/82
CLAIM TO FAME: Tattoo artist on Miami Ink, star of her own spin-off L.A. Ink
PRESENT WE'D GIVE HER: Our DNA name emblazoned on her chest.

CLICK HERE TO SEE MORE MARCH BIRTHDAY GIRLS!

 

carrie-underwood
CARRIE UNDERWOOD, 3/10/83
CLAIM TO FAME: Grammy Award-winning country music singer, American Idol Season 4 champ, filming her acting debut in Soul Surfer
PRESENT WE'D GIVE HER: A bottle of Southern Comfort and a pair of ass-less chaps for her to parade around in.

CLICK NEXT TO SEE MORE MARCH BIRTHDAY GIRLS!

 

gracepark
GRACE PARK, 3/14/74
CLAIM TO FAME: Played Lt. Sharon 'Boomer' Valerii in Battlestar Gallactica, played Akani Cuesta in The Cleaner, currently starring as Special Agent Liz Carver in The Border
PRESENT WE'D GIVE HER: A ride on our rocket ship.

CLICK NEXT TO SEE MORE MARCH BIRTHDAY GIRLS!

 

latoya
LETOYA LUCKETT, 3/11/81
CLAIM TO FAME: Solo R&B artist, O.G. member of Destiny's Child, starring in 2010's Killers with Ashton Kutcher & Katherine Heigl
PRESENT WE'D GIVE HER: A "Who the fuck is Beyonce Knowles" t-shirt.

CLICK NEXT TO SEE MORE MARCH BIRTHDAY GIRLS!

 

hamptons
ELLE MACPHERSON, 3/29/64
CLAIM TO FAME: Iconic Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue cover girl, guest stint as Janine on Friends, host of Britain's Next Top Model
PRESENT WE'D GIVE HER: She's already in our wifey hall of fame, shit maybe now we'd give her the whole company.

>CLICK NEXT TO SEE MORE MARCH BIRTHDAY GIRLS!

 

jessicabiel
JESSICA BIEL, 3/3/82
CLAIM TO FAME: Played Mary Camden on 7th Heaven, played Alex McDonough in I Now Pronounce You Chuck & Larry, starring as Lt. Sosa in 2010's The A-Team
PRESENT WE'D GIVE HER: Kudos for climbing Mt. Kilimanjaro with Kenna for charity and a bonus Christian school-girl outfit...for 7th Heaven nostalgia's sake, obviously.
CLICK HERE TO SEE MORE MARCH BIRTHDAY GIRLS!

 

oliviaw
OLIVIA WILDE, 3/10/84
CLAIM TO FAME: Played Mischa Barton's lesbian lover Alex Kelly on The O.C., plays Thirteen on House, ranked #1 on Maxim's "Hot 100" of 2009, will star as Quorra in the upcoming Tron Legacy
PRESENT WE'D GIVE HER: A feature film bisexual role because her previous performances were exceptionally Oscar-worthy.

CLICK NEXT TO SEE MORE MARCH BIRTHDAY GIRLS!

 

mariah_carey-touch_my_body
MARIAH CAREY, 3/27/70
CLAIM TO FAME: Grammy award-winning singer, played Mrs. Weiss in Precious
PRESENT WE'D GIVE HER: Some aspirin to start her morning after her 40th birthday. We all know the girl knows how to party.

CLICK NEXT TO SEE THE FINAL MARCH BIRTHDAY GIRL!

 

eval
EVA LONGORIA, 3/15/75
CLAIM TO FAME: Plays Gabrielle Solis on Desperate Housewives
PRESENT WE'D GIVE HER: An Emmy nomination for her performance on the show. Though she was the only chick who hasn't been nominated, she's the only one we care to watch.

CLICK HERE TO SEE PAST BIRTHDAY GIRLS!