Complex film critic Ayo! Scott can't be bothered with screenings, so he's reviewing movies based on the trailer alone.
The future is not bright. At least not for you. According to Jude Law's new sci-fi action flick Repo Men, in days to come everyone will attempt to operate on a level as high and mighty as Ayo! Scott does naturally using The Union company's robotic organs (apparently humanity outgrows steroids). Want to drink like John Daly? Cop a robotic liver! Want strong knees like Karrine "Superhead" Steffans to better slob your favorite film critic? Pick out a payment plan for robotic kneecaps! Want to have an indomitable male member that can literally turn a woman into mush like Ayo! Scott? Fuck outta here, limp shrimp. Ayo! might ravage women like a machine, but parts this good don't come off assembly lines.
Furthermore, there are fiscal and physical downsides for those who would attempt to challenge Ayo!'s sexual domination of the planet with purchased prowess. See, you really do gotta pay the cost to be the boss, and if you fall behind on the hefty payments to The Union a merciless repossession agent like Law will cut them right out of you and leave you to die. The repo man begins to realize how evil it all is when a workplace accident forces him to get a machine heart, dooming him with debt. Yadda yadda, he finds the
heart balls to buck the system and stab a bunch of people fancily while his co-worker and best buddy (Forest Whitaker) attempts to dead him for their employer. More than a movie, Repo Men is a bloody great method to teach young children about credit. And artificial male enhancement, because no matter how many expensive robotic upgrades one gets, there is only one man who makes 'em say "AYO!" when the drawers drop and the shaft hits the floor. Check out the Repo Men trailer for yourself below to see what Ayo! is talking about...
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