Imagine our joyful surprise when we were sittin' around on the ol' barcalounger this week reading TV Guide and realized there was a brand new This Old House Hour on PBS tonight! "Boston's foreclosure problems are compared to those in other parts of the country," "the house's waste and water configuration are reviewed," "later, remodeling a kitchen and flowerpot drainage are broached!"
Then the five hits of ecstasy we were on started to wear off (when we're on the stuff it's pronounced "ecthstathy") and we realized we're not 35-year-old yuppie fucks blogging on brownstoner.com (they said "stoner" heh, heh) and we're gonna watch snowboarding on the telly for the third consecutive night. Yup, we're into the Winter Olympics around here (even the fails), and not ashamed of it. Of course we've got some other options for you as well, all in this edition of TV Picks of the Day...
SPORTS: OLYMPICS, WOMEN'S SNOWBOARD HALFPIPE, NBC, 8 PM ET
• Last night Shaun White showed why he's gotta be in the conversation for the title of the "Best Athlete on the Planet" and tonight's the ladies turn. Americans Hannah Teter, Gretchen Bleiler, and Kelly Clark finished 1-2-4 four years ago in Torino, and they're looking for a clean medal sweep this time around. We're not usually kneejerk "U-S-A" types, but when they're this hot, we can get a touch jingoistic.
COMEDY: SARAH SILVERMAN PROGRAM: A SLIP SLOPE, COMEDY CENTRAL, 10:30 PM
• Silverman herself can be as annoying as blistered acute hemorrhoids at times, but we can't front, her show is dope. In tonight's episode our favorite bearded gay man Brian Spukowski faces an avian assault, and we're sure hilarity will ensue.
COMEDY: ARCHER: SKYTANIC, FX, 10 PM
• If you're only going to watch one animated Cold War spy comedy this TV season, Archer's gotta be it, and not just because it's the only animated Cold War spy comedy on TV this season. Tonight "Duchess" and crew are enlisted to assist a luxury liner facing a bomb threat.
MOVIE: CHOPPER, IFC, 11 PM
• If you've never seen Eric Bana's delightfully unhinged portrayal of real life Australian criminal-turned-author Mark Brandon "Chopper" Read, tonight's the night. Suffice it to say, Reservoir Dogs' ear scene has nothing on Chopper.
REALITY: FIGHT SCIENCE: HUMAN WEAPON, NATIONAL GEOGRAPHIC CHANNEL, 9 PM
• Martial arts experts demonstrate various awesome self-defense techniques on dummies. We're not sure how the producers got both Rush Limbaugh and Yung Berg to appear on the same show, but we'll tune in just to get some pointers in case those brownstoners come after us.